Women are really strong. Many of them always want validation from the outside world thinking that somebody would recognize them, accept them, and encourage them; which is a normal human tendency. It turns out to be the biggest weakness by depending upon the outside sources of strengths and later it becomes an addiction. The more you ask for the compliments, the more you are dependent, and are validating yourself through someone else’s eyes.
The idea is that women ideally should be empowered from within and that is why I have shared the stories of nine women who are powerful and empowered in my book “9 ways to empower”. Those are the nine tools that I feel that we women need to have and enhance them to become empowered. The moment you have empowered yourselves, your duty as a woman and your responsibilities to this world doubles up and you should make a difference to each and every individuals that come into their life even if it is a man, a woman, a child or even a pet. You need to share what you have got within you in the form of stories or in the form of examples.
I am working with lots of women as a Take Charge Expert. And there are so many challenges that I have helped them get over in their life. I have lost my father at a young age; and that has impacted the course of my life, I have travelled across the world and have developed strategies that help women leverage their skills and talents. As an entrepreneur I could explore and build a very successful business, I freelance as a fashion designer and I worked for major brands in India, Europe, and UAE.
Later I married a man who I assumed would fulfill everything that I needed in my life. And I started hoping, wishing, that all the validations came from outside. And that was my weakness. I discovered my weakness after many years of my marriage. As of now I am taking responsibility of my mistakes and currently preceding many litigation cases against my own BETTER half. I still call him my better half be as, I learnt a lot from him and he is still teaching me in terms of laws, manipulations, or in terms of how to protect yourself from someone within your family, who is does not have your best interests in his mind and is creating roadblocks for you, which you ideally would not have expected from somebody who is so close. So being betrayed, and being in a situation where you have to face everything.
It is more like a story of Mahabharata. When I read the story of Mahabharata, I thought why a person would just fight with someone who is from the same family one should Just give it up, just let it go. Let peace be there, and not any sorts of arguments, trauma etc. however while I faced a situation in my life , my perception changed, when you believe in your self don’t let anyone however close to you abuse you or take you for a ride.
There are women in this world who do not know how to fight against their own people as they are bound by the society and their judgments. Some are confused, fearful, and shocked. Most of the women are shocked by the things that their own people do to them in terms of abuse, cheating, taking away their rights, and treating them badly. All these coming from ones own family. Most of the times, the woman is abused and she takes it from near and dear ones, which completely breaks her. Sooner or the later she needs to Take Charge Of Her Life and that is exactly what I did and help women do the same.
One fine day I got up and decided that I’m not going to take any form of mental abuse, financial abuse and most importantly I’m not going to be part of any illegal activities that happens in the terms of business or any other way. When I discovered some qualities about my partner, which were against my values and beliefs, I decided to stand up for myself. I knew that I had an army of family, an army of society to face and that would put a question mark on my character, on my ability, and also it shows that I failed as a human being in nurturing relationships.
When I look back and see the journey that I have had in my life, that is, as a child, as a teenager, before marriage, and after marriage, I realized that there was a powerful human in me, which was unshaken by any circumstances in life, and I was and have been a fighter who stood strong.
Hence, I stood strong as a mother. I would have let go of all the money I had earned, my rights and everything if it was only for myself, which most of the women do in today’s world. But as a mother, my responsibilities tripled. I have a daughter; a son and I also have a pet. I treat him as my own child. So I have three children. And being a mother of three children I was not in a situation to ‘let go’. I decided to stand strong, to Take Charge and to learn each and everything.
In the beginning, I received so many criticisms from my family. They didn’t believe what I was doing or me that I was right was correct. I still have opposition from lot of people saying that women should just let go of the things, forgive, forget and move on. Forgiving and forgetting is simple and easy, compared to that of standing up and fighting. Because standing up and fighting requires courage. You really have to believe in yourself, should be emotionally strong, and must be ready to take all kinds of disapproval from the world. BELIEVE me it’s worth it. You have one life to live, live it on your values and beliefs.
I believe in myself and I believe that women can and should stand up for themselves. I am a mother of three children. So, I fight for my children’s rights. In spite of not knowing a single thing about law, I have stood strong and in this last four years, I have learnt practically every aspect of law, not in terms of criminal offence or which particular law stands for what but now I know that if you are right, if you are persistent and have enough courage to stand up for your right; you will be respected, rewarded, recognized and most importantly you will become an inspiration for many women.
Women to empower women should ideally empower themselves first and stand strong as an example; as an example speaks louder than any kind of advice or words. So when you believe that you are right, you have to stand up for your right, because nobody is going to come and give you your rights. I did a turnover of corers of rupees but ended up giving it to someone whom I trusted. But eventually lack of knowledge gave me zero balance, being betrayed by someone you trust eternally is a bigger blow than loosing billions. Therefore, I believe that when you stand for yourself, you can show path to a lot of women.
In my article “women empower women”, I would strongly vouch for the belief system. I feel that women should have confidence in themselves, because, standing strong against the people who are in your family, in your surroundings and who take you for granted, requires lot of courage.
Life can be a beautiful experience, irrespective of what you go through. If you are focused, and have a crystal clear vision of your dreams you are unstoppable. So, what I have written in the above article could be applied and achieved by becoming financially free. I stress a lot of women to have financial strength.
I now have a good financial understanding. To have the financial growth or to have any form of skills and talents that will surely bring some revenue in your life. When you educate your girl, you educate her to learn lot of skills and talents, and make sure that you give her complete training on how to make money through a small business, startup, or working.
You can start as early as fifteen years old. I’m training my children to become financially free irrespective of the kind of financial strength I have because, I want them to stand on their feet, whether it is a girl or a boy or even a woman, they have the power to make money. They should earn their own bread, irrespective of the privileges they get from their parents.
Women should empower women. And, when you see a woman going through a difficult phase, all you can do is help her, show her the right kind of people and recommend experts to provide her with the right kind of solutions.
Do not doubt a woman’s strength and never point your finger at her. Because, you don’t know what her journey has been. I feel strongly towards building a better world and being the change I wish to see in this world, therefore I do programs with extensive depth like TAKE CHARGE 5 X FORMULA and key notes for organization looking for building more efficient and strong team for their companies TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE with I CAN attitude. I have now made learning easily available with lot of home study video courses and e learning programs on my TAKE CHARGE ULTIMATE where you can discover and unleash your potential.
Written by Gemini Dhar, Take Charge expert and author